I have a tendency to become paranoid. Most specifically and most recently, my paranoia surrounds my cat’s health and/or safety. I can’t help but spend my time thinking of various nightmare scenarios that could happen to my beloved cat.

What if my cat finds the floss I discarded into the bathroom trash while we are sleeping? What if he eats said floss and it gets tangled up in his intestines like I read about in that terrifying news article? And then we have to take him to the vet and they either have to operate, or we have to say goodbye like we had to say goodbye to his brother (both awful scenarios)? As I lie in bed, I picture the floss just hanging out on top of the pile, ripe for cat consumption. I guess I will get out of bed (at one o’clock in the morning) and cover the floss up with something to prevent this impending disaster. You know what I’ll just stop flossing. I knew nothing good would ever come of this.

(Side note- Is this how people with babies feel about babies?)

I give Nugget some catnip, but as I am putting it on the floor for him to roll around in and enjoy, I realize some of the pieces appear to be VERY large and VERY sharp. What if it stabs the inside of his mouth? One time, a bee flew into the mouth of one of my parents’ cats. It buzzed around in there for a second and then the cat opened his mouth and released the bee. I looked past his sharp teeth and saw a black spot on the roof of his mouth, which I was convinced was the bee’s stinger (Is that a real word? Stinger? Is that anatomically correct?) and immediately panicked. My mom told me it was probably just a birthmark. Honestly even if a bee’s stinger did get lodged into the roof of this particular cat’s mouth, he would probably be fine. He’s a demon cat, so the stinger would most likely just give him more Satanic power. Wait maybe the stinger is why he is evil… I have to text my mom.

Back to Nugget.

I give him his wet food in the morning and then go to hop in the shower, but then I imagine him choking on said food while I’m shampooing my hair. I mean I cut up all the big pieces I thought he couldn’t handle, but what if it just goes down the wrong pipe and I can’t hear him suffering? I settle on creepily supervising him while he eats like I am a lunch room monitor, as if I even know what to do if he DOES start choking. (I’ve read the instructions on how to perform cat CPR, but I feel like it’s something you have to learn by doing?) “Why am I late for work? Oh, yeah… sorry about that… I had to watch my cat complete his breakfast.”

What if I put lotion on my hands and then he licks my hand, or I pet him before the lotion is fully absorbed, and there’s something toxic to cats in there I was unaware of? This one might seem like a real over-reaction, but it reminds me of the whole cats vs. essential oils thing. If you have a cat and also an essential oil obsession, please do some freaking research. It’s possible to diffuse safely, but you need to read about it. Personally, I don’t think enough attention is given to this issue and I am going to start a non-profit called Cat Lovers Against Essential Oils (CLAEO). I am taking suggestions for better names.

What if he jumps onto the wood stove (even though he’s never shown any interest in doing so before) and burns the little pink pads on his cute little paws?

What if there’s still a glass shard on the floor from that wine glass I dropped four months ago and he steps on it (or swallows it)?

And on and on and on…

But all this worry, however unnecessary, is worth it. I love when I’m cuddled up in bed reading a good book, fairy lights twinkling behind me (which by the way, I highly recommend. Even though you assume they might have college dorm vibes, the lights provide beautiful ambient light for nighttime reading and it’s still easy to fall asleep. You can even dim the brightness as you get closer to sleep. I’m serious. Look into this. This, and the tragic effect certain essential oils can have on cats), with my cat resting his head on my leg while I give him a belly rub. His eyes blink closed slowly, and then open again, which we all know means “I love you” in cat lingo.

I love how there’s a little lion living in our house with us. I love how he “parkours” off the chair in the living room while he’s doing his daily sprinting routine. I love his bunny rabbit feet and how he seems to pray to the sun gods every morning.

And maybe that’s what this is all about. Not letting the worry of the potential floss fiasco override the delight of the cat cuddles. Focusing on the joy instead of the anxiety. So that if one day, some harm does befall my poor Nugget (because let’s be honest, we can’t prevent everything from happening), I can say I didn’t waste any time worrying. I can say I fully enjoyed every waking moment I had with my furry friend.

Peace, love, and kittens ❤️ (or puppies, I guess, if that’s what you’re into).